by David Niven. 2003.
[Couples who have been married for decades] told me I should include [the following points in my book]:
– Find a happy medium, which includes some time together and some time alone
– Have patience, communication, and compromise
– Talk out any problems that arise
– Be unselfish
– Have a strong work ethic, a sense of humor, and a love of family
– Say “I’m sorry,” “thank you,” and “I forgot.”
– Have mutual respect
– Enjoy each other’s company
– Work together for the true, the good, and the beautiful
– Respect each other’s integrity, and understand differences
– Show your appreciation for each other
“Regardless of how well you know a person, and how long you have lived with that person, I think corresponding with them shows you a completely different side of them,” Brenda says. “A letter, even an email, is like a window into their soul.”
Relationships crumble under the weight of imbalance. Neither person can be more important. Neither person can be more involved or committed. Neither person can make all the decisions. Neither person can make all the sacrifices.
When two people are in a relationship, chances are each is pursuing individual dreams. The strongest relationships support both partners’ dreams, even if they differ, not one partner’s at the expense of the other’s.
People who consider their partner conscientious, a person who consistently does what they say they are going to do, were 26% more likely to rate their relationship healthy and reported 41% less conflict in their relationship. Dependability was rated among the most desired qualities in a partner.