By Alexandra Stoddard. 2007.
“The choice of a certain way of life…demands from the individual a total change of lifestyle, a conversion of one’s entire being, and ultimately a certain desire to be and live in a certain way.”
– Pierre Hodot
Contents
1. Every Day, Commit Yourself To Experiencing the Good Life
2. Be True To All Your Choices
3. Be Responsible–Say No
4. Stand On Your Own Two Feet
5. Information is Not Inspiration
6. Take Satisfaction In Doing the Right Thing
7. Go After What You Love
8. Have Realistic Expectations
9. Live From the Inside Out
10. Celebrate Simple Ceremonies
Chapter 1: Every Day, Commit Yourself To Experiencing the Good Life
You are unique. You ought to do what no others can do, fulfilling your needs in vastly different ways. Your destiny is not predestined. You create your destiny every day, not by chance, but by choice. Destiny is an achievement. The power to achieve it is in your choices. You have a responsibility to dignify your life through continuously making yourself better. You should aim higher for the good of all.
“Trying to live well is not easy for any of us.”
– Aristotle
Life is a continuous progression in drawing from us our great potential. Ever unfolding, ever expanding, the good life is a big life that is rich, deep, and throbbing with opportunities to learn, to grow, to study, to teach, and to create.
“Life is the sum of all your choices.”
– Albert Camus
Chapter 22: Cultivate Good Energy
In my book ‘Choosing Happiness: Keys to a Joyful Life’, I wrote that our natural temperament and disposition is divided evenly between nature–our genetic endowment–and nurture–the influence of our environment and our choices. We can change our life by as much as 50 percent by retraining our minds and attitudes. By thinking thoughts that aim us in the direction of greater happiness, we will, in time, transform our inner life. We’re able to improve ourselves choice by choice, by our habits of thought and attitude. This character development brings rich rewards. Our mental state becomes more dependable, predictable, and stable as we cultivate good energy.
The good life demands that we develop an optimistic philosophy as the framework for our thinking. We change the way we feel by what we think.
Chapter 23: You Own Your Self
“‘Finding Oneself’ is a misconception. A self is not discovered but formed by deliberate contemplation and action.”
– Jacques Barzun
What is your most fundamental self? What are some of the small epiphanies you’ve experienced that have given you greater clarity and made you think, “Ah, this is me. This is who I am. This is what I choose to do and how I choose to live my life”?
You discover your true identity by what you think and what you do. Are you living the life you believe is the best one according to your essence? Are you true to your core values and beliefs, satisfying your deepest desires and wishes?
I’ve never known a human being who has everything perfectly figured out, but passionately pursuing this goal yields tremendous satisfaction. Our primary task in life is to find inner peace, to be content, to become happier, more loving.
Consider your invisible possessions. This is your true wealth. … By adopting them, we achieve the good life. The ancient philosophers defined virtue as moral excellence. Some invisible possessions may be:
– Honesty
– Sympathy
– Compassion
– Thoughtfulness
– Sensitivity
– Gratitude
– Appreciation
– Empathy
– Generosity
– Kindness
– Wisdom
– Cheerfulness
– Love
– Care
– Courtesy
– Open-mindedness
– Integrity
– Sincerity
– Humility
– Optimism
Chapter 25: Accept Responsibility
We invite opportunities and set the stage for action by our choices, our study, our concentration and commitment. But sometimes, no matter how prepared we are, no matter how much we want something, no matter how much we recognize that this could be our big break, we fail to accept the opportunity before us, perhaps because we’re afraid of rejection or failure.
One of the saddest thoughts is to never have discovered an enchanted garden because you never tried to reach the entrance to open the door. It is sad to think what might have been. We must always open doors knowing that there will be great possibilities awaiting us when we do. All experiences deeply lived, no matter how much we struggle, are opportunities to learn. The greatest loss occurs when we don’t expose ourselves to opportunities because we may be afraid of failure. Somehow we find inner strength when we persevere courageously. When we don’t try, or we give up too easily, we’re turning our backs on the door that only we can open. I don’t believe many of us really know how great we are in potential. We should expect more from ourselves. When we do, we bring out more from the vast reservoir of possibility that is in us all the time.
Chapter 28: Faster Isn’t Better
When we value “faster” over the enjoyment of the process, we are fast-forwarding our lives and getting out of sync with the richness of the moment.
Daniel Goleman wrote in Emotional Intelligence, “Life need not be regarded as an emergency about to happen.” The efficient way is not always the best way. The scenic route may be most appropriate.
Chapter 34: Give Yourself Time
We have to choose to be patient with ourselves when we are going through a rough patch or a time of major transition. … Don’t be hard on yourself when you’re making really difficult lifestyle choices and changes. It isn’t easy to change our habits. Make a deliberate point not to become frustrated by the timing of the outcome. Remind yourself that you are trying hard, doing the best you can…